PERSONAL: CYBER BULLY

[cheguThamrin]

Well XXXXX I thk u know who m i .... Pandai berlakon awak AAAA & BBBB... Sampai bila nak lari.....Hmmm wat a small world... AAAA - U KNOW WAT I MEAN....

*names have been changed. Based on actual posting; deleted / removed.

Lets be frank about this, how would you feel if you have been bullied online?
- in your own blog
- in someone else's blog
- in forums
- anywhere else online.

Is it something worse than being physically involved; ie dented your personal pride; cos spoken words may be forgotten, but texted prints remain until its been removed?

One sentence may be understood differently by many ppl. THE JOKE intended, may not be a joke after all. And we all should know by now, CAPS LOCK means SHOUT OUT LOUD.

Unless we have known each other so well and close physically met etc; then we may speak the same tone and frequency and understand each other's intention; but most of us in here have YET to meet each other; (main reason cited: Malas / No time / Malu / Shy / sorry I dont meet up with ppl on the net) or perhaps they have met, but still, misunderstandings may always happen; even between the best of friends. Personal remarks may not always be accepted readily; or more likely to have someone else "standing in" and not accepting such remarks "on behalf of" the person intended. While sometimes, general statements are taken to heart, "sket2 terasa" but when there's personal messages to one another with these remarks as example:

kau pk kau ada pangkat sikit bontot kau ada emas ke?

Merepek betul...dah tua2 pun perangai mcm budak kecik. Grow up!!

tua tua pon..nak buat op kasi flat..

Emotions fly; and that we may forget ourselves about the basics of ethics and interpersonal skills. Yes, some had left this forums due to these reasons. The last thing we want to know is for anyone to have grudges with one another. Korang nak bergasak wrestling out there, go ahead, but please spare the nice ppl in this forum.

But when these things happen... especially if these things happen to YOU;

what's your immediate remark?
Immature? Insensitive? Gasak lah?

What should be done?
What can we DO to avoid all these?

[SyarahD]

Is it something worse than being physically involved; ie dented your personal pride; cos spoken words may be forgotten, but texted prints remain until its been removed?

Lets be frank about this, how would you feel if you have been bullied online?
- in your own blog
- in someone else's blog
- in forums
- anywhere else online.

Bullying , be it physically, mentally, verbally , thru cyber,  texted print..being the victim it is still HURTFUL! CAUSING PAIN AND SUFFERING!!


I must say,this has been one of my favourite forum page ( hmm my daughter is 16,she loves to browse the pages here & read too  ),.... I 've made many wonderful new friends  ,whom all  I've never met personally (except for Kak Yul),  sometime I feel as though I already met all of you by just being here  ... , I've acquired many valuable knowledge , and most importantly, I've gained myself awareness , thru  experiences we shared here . I feel so close to home! 


This site has been created ( with great effort, I'm sure)as a world of social communication, interaction, sharing knowledge and experiences, besides making new friends.

what's your immediate remark?
Immature? Insensitive? Gasak lah?

While most interactions are positive, it saddened me to know that ther's someone out there  using this communication tool to antagonize and intimidate others.....or you call it  cyber bullying.
I'm utterly dissapointed!

Let me tell you, cyber bullying is a big problem in Canada..but amongst the school students ! It is so serious that the Ontario
Government has introduced a new legislation in April tis year  to add cyber-bullying to the list of offences for which a student can be suspended or expelled from school!
(I'm telling you here, this is mainly done by school children..!)

Please , not here, don't let it it happened in this forum!!

What should be done?
What can we DO to avoid all these?

I certainly hope this will not go on...not here especially!
Let us all communicate here in best positive ways...kita gunakan tatasusila kita sebagai orang melayu yang penuh adap sopan bila berinteraksi, walaupun hanya menerusi kata -kata yang lakarkan di sini.Jika kita perlu tegur, atau luahkan pendapat, gunakan cara yang lembut ..sebab kadang tu kita tak sedar, kita rasa ok, tapi mungkin tidak bagi orang lain.
Ofcourse we can continue to joke , to cheer , to support each other here ..most of the time ,it really made our day, isn't it?


Anyway, here's some/part of the guidelines , if you or your child has been a victim of cyber bully ( i quoted from my kids school flyer)..

Awareness and education are the keys to the prevention of cyberbullying!


Prevention:
Don't send a message to someone else when you are angry -Wait until you have calmed down and had time to think. Do your best to make sure that your messages are calmly and factually written. You will usually regret sending a "Flame" (angry) to someone else later on. Once you've sent a message, it is VERY hard to undo the damage that such "flames" can do.

Use Netiquette -Be polite to others online just as you would off-line. If someone treats you rudely or meanly - do not respond. Online bullies are just like off-line. ones - they WANT you to answer (don't give them the satisfaction)


If You Are The Victim of a Cyberbully What Can Be Done Now?:

Don't reply to messages from cyberbullies -even though you may really want to, this is exactly what cyberbullies want. They want to know that they've got you worried and upset. They are trying to mess with your mind and control you, to put fear into you. Don't give them that pleasure.

Do not keep this to yourself! You are NOT alone and you did NOT do anything to deserve this! Tell someone know and trust!

Inform your local police
Do not erase or delete messages from cyberbullies -You don't have to read it, but keep it, it is your evidence. You may unfortunately get similar messages again,perhaps from other accounts. The police and your ISP ( internet service provider), and/or your telephone company can use these messages to help you. You might notice certain words or phrases that are also used by people you know. These messages may reveal certain clues as to who is doing this to you, if it's your child that is the victim, tell them  don't try and solve this on their own, they must  tell an adult whom they know and trust. GET HELP!

The best defense against cyberbullying for now is a watchful, involved parent, guardian, family member or friend.

Salaam,
SyarahD

[cheguThamrin]

Appreciate your input here, SyarahD 

I wish there'll be more to speak up on this.

[stea_dy]

Is it something worse than being physically involved; ie dented your personal pride; cos spoken words may be forgotten, but texted prints remain until its been removed?

One sentence may be understood differently by many ppl. THE JOKE intended, may not be a joke after all. And we all should know by now, CAPS LOCK means SHOUT OUT LOUD.

Cyber bully?  Sounds jangal....  (betul ke perkataan ni?)

Anyway, I can recalled some bits of cyber bully happened to me, I think  :

No, it hasn't dented my pride...  I like to think that perhaps, I didn't type down my feelings/thoughts correctly or as accurate as possible..  But, sometimes, it's clearly a cyber bully thingy when the same person attacking you constantly...  But, hey, I have nothing to lose...  Gasak dialah, (a)nak...   

It is of course difficult for other readers to understand your thoughts when u never bersua-muka.  Kadang-kala, nada perbualan berbeza dari cara penulisan.  People can anggap yg bukan2 and we cannot implement our ideas in their heads thru cyber-activities sahaja without berjela2 tulis your thoughts & knowledge on the subjects discussed for eg. maklum balas di forum.  I've gave up on this, just keep it short & sweet...

On the other hand, it's unjustifiable for cyber bullies to jump into their own conclusion, too...  Macam tak de hati perut....  Nak2 kalau lelaki (if you know their gender) against perempuan forummers.  The first thing comes to my mind, "how ridiculous can someone think like that? main hembus aje..."  The worst thing that if that particular "cyber bully" changed his/her profile or had a different name & return to attack you again...  That's really bemused me cuz it's really very "low" for someone to do that...   ;D

Pity them?  Perhaps, dulu kecik2 nak jadi gansgter tak dpat, now with modern technology, bolehlah tunjuk "terror" sikit... 

So, I tak mainlah nak tunjuk "terror2" kat internet kerna manusia ni biasalah, kat belakang, macam iya2 sangat, dah kat depan muka, terus lidah kelat!!!   ;D

[mudpie]

It is of course difficult for other readers to understand your thoughts when u never bersua-muka.  Kadang-kala, nada perbualan berbeza dari cara penulisan.  People can anggap yg bukan2 and we cannot implement our ideas in their heads thru cyber-activities sahaja without berjela2 tulis your thoughts & knowledge on the subjects discussed.....[/i]

i agree wif Stea_dy, cyber forummers or 'strangers' may not noe u on a personal ground but hey, they are perceptive abt you for no apparent reasons, at times. i can accept it tt the cyber is meant for all to view their thoughts & considerations, but to bombard one another, based on her/his personal encounter elsewhere, is really unethical. i believe we are here to beri pendapat & memanfaatkan tips2 yg berguna yg disumbangkan oleh para forummers, so sama2 lah kiter meraihkan faedah technology masakini.....
tonation in speech & written are 2 different levels, so lets not be presumptious & preordain abt any topic here.....

The worst thing that if that particular "cyber bully" changed his/her profile or had a different name & return to attack you again...  That's really bemused me cuz it's really very "low" for someone to do that...   ;D

tt sounds like a sore loser......uhuk uhuk uhuk...... 

wat can one cyber bully gain from doin this?  some kind of egoistic problem?  & for the kids pulak, how did they manage to go a different level (upper) in terms of bullying... it must hv been some personality indifference here, 'i see u differently, no matter wat u r' !! makes sense???
how abt grouping or clustering in the cyberspace?? when all in one group attacking the minority? sounds like a cyber bully too, isnt it??
oh well, did they say the devils invent the internet?  ---- LOL !!!  :o :o

juz my POV  ;)

[norm]

how would you feel if you have been bullied online?[/b][/color]
- in your own blog
- in someone else's blog
- in forums
- anywhere else online.

I tak kisah since it's not getting physical ...
Is it something worse than being physically involved; ie dented your personal pride; cos spoken words may be forgotten, but texted prints remain until its been removed?

Depends on how one take it.... As for me, again tak kisah bukannya kenal secara peribadi pun...

what's your immediate remark?
Gasak lah
What should be done?
What can we DO to avoid all these?
Nothing much can be done.. If we are not at fault, the truth will always be prevailed...

[Death]

When people bully you in :-

1. Blog - then stop blogging
2. Forum - then stop forumming
3. Through email - then stop emailing
4. Through phone - then stop telephoning  ;D

One way to do things is to make it only available for readers to comment if their are sign in. Disable anonymous comments.

[aUra]

semua stop eh death lepas tu duduk diam2 sajer

[norm]

semua stop eh death lepas tu duduk diam2 sajer

hehehehehe... boring ah camtu... I guess don't take personally on things like dat...  ;)

[cheguThamrin]

For those who knew Siva Choy, and been reading the New Paper on Sunday...

Here's how to deal with bullies 
By Siva Choy
 
July 09, 2007       

WHAT do you do with school bullies, apart from frying them in oil?

A primary schoolteacher friend of mine tells me that a big-sized, mean student in her class has been bullying some of the smaller and gentler students.

She thinks the bully is careful to operate out of her sight and that the bullied students are scared to talk to her about it in case he gets really mean and machine-guns the whole class, which seems to be the worldwide trend.

 
She's also convinced, after reading many books on child psychology, that bullying has a bad effect on academic performance. (How are the meek to inherit the earth if they can't show the proper qualifications?)

'How did you cope with bullying as a primary school student?' she asked.

I didn't have a problem with that in school because I had a 'bodyguard' - an older brother who would take on any number of bullies on my behalf.

Ah Leng was also a coward but he used a survival tactic employed by many gentle creatures in nature - namely, that of trying to look like a fierce creature.

So he dressed like a gangster - starched collars turned upwards, short-sleeves slightly rolled up, metal studs on his shoe soles, and small shorts as far as the headmaster would allow - and looked as evil as he could. No one bothered him.

Peter's fluent English unwittingly got him into trouble with the Cheah brothers. He used clever words they didn't understand which they assumed to be insults, so they summoned six kampung boys to the gates after school just to remind him that the force was with them.

Unfortunately for them, Peter's father was a police inspector. He asked his father to pick him up after school, and the kampung boys vanished like lightning when they realised the Force was with Peter.

When Darville de Silva got punched several times by Arifin Gila, he complained to his father. Surprisingly, he got a scolding.

'Don't come crying to me like a girl!' his father said sternly. 'You're a de Silva! Be a man! Hit him back! Bullies are all cowards at heart! If you fight back, he'll back down.'

Arifin Gila being slightly mental didn't back down, and Darville came home with a throbbing stomach, a stiff jaw and a torn shirt.

His father's back-up strategy was to enrol him in the local Boys' Club boxing programme. The idea was that after a few weeks' training, he would be able to thrash Gila and reclaim family honour.

(The de Silvas were champion boxers - the showcases in their houses were full of trophies, but these displays were a bit suspect because the family was also into the business of dealing in trophies.)

MOSQUITO WEIGHT

When Darville became Mosquito Weight champ in the Boys' Club tournament, he confidently went on to confront Arifin Gila, who confidently whacked the daylights out of him.

'That Arifin fellow cheated!' Darville's father told everyone indignantly.

'Oh my goodness!' said my New-Age teacher friend upon hearing my case studies on bullies.

'I'm not talking about bullying in such a dramatic context. I'm concerned with issues like... y'know... calling names... ridiculing fat pupils or girls...'

I told her how Mr Yap from my primary school would have solved the problem (haul up the bully, a few tight slaps, a couple of kicks, 1,000 lines, stand in the sun for an hour, scold the parents and make the father lose face so that he will continue MrYap's Extreme Physical Rehabilitation Programme at home for a few more weeks).

No, she said in great alarm, that will severely traumatise the bully. Traumatise the bully? Isn't that a bit like saying 'No, we shouldn't jail armed robbers - prisons will only traumatise them?'

School bullies often go on to bully people at work, and there's more bullying going on in offices and workplaces than we like to talk about.

Bullies are as old as history - I'm sure people like Attila the Hun and the wicked Roman emperor Nero were initially nice schoolboys who got severely bullied by others. Naturally they went on to bully other people (unfortunately in the millions).

If only Mr Yap had been around then...

http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/columnists/story/0,4136,135311,00.html?

[Fairylady]

I need forummers opinion.. what if the someone fitnah u online.

Never put ur name but paste pictures of ur handwork and add in.

"Dia ni menumpang rumah orang, her mum dah passed away"
 
She create a lot of untrue story.  I have my own house, my mum still alive. Alhamdullillah but
i get so mad. Siapa dia nak buat cerita macam ni..

What will u do dengan orang mcm ni.
 
I feel like going to her parents house and bersemuka with them.

Tell them to talk to her or directly call her. I'm lost what i know is i am so angry....

Tengah beristifar banyak banyak...

[cleopatra]

I need forummers opinion.. what if the someone fitnah u online.

Never put ur name but paste pictures of ur handwork and add in.

"Dia ni menumpang rumah orang, her mum dah passed away"
 
She create a lot of untrue story.  I have my own house, my mum still alive. Alhamdullillah but
i get so mad. Siapa dia nak buat cerita macam ni..

What will u do dengan orang mcm ni.
 
I feel like going to her parents house and bersemuka with them.

Tell them to talk to her or directly call her. I'm lost what i know is i am so angry....

Tengah beristifar banyak banyak...

for me i'll confront her personally, since i noe who she is.... den tanya apa motif dia sebenarnye..

[Fairylady]

She refused to answer my call. Sms pun tak reply.

[Fairylady]

I get thru her oredi, the story she got is from her mother who is angry at me cos dont want to teach her son.
She deleted it oredi.

[ChocoLatte]

chet...baru nak recommend you to sue her for slander/defamation...